george carlin quotes government

Its all very confusing.George Carlin, People are wonderful. The poor are just there just to scare the shit out of the middle class. - George Carlin profile quotes. All rights reserved. Theres only the immediate future and the recent past. Trying to be happy by accumulating possessions is like trying to satisfy hunger by taping sandwiches all over your body. if (window.Mobvious === undefined) { The challenge is to find it. In America, anyone can become president. The planet is fine. function getCookieWithoutJQuery(name) { My idea is that these two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death. Injuring, hurting, killing, drinking are all part of it because youve lost your identity because you now owe your allegiance to this thing thats bigger than you are and that controls you. George Carlin, 71. "The reason I talk to myself is because I'm the only one whose answers I accept." ~ (George Carlin). Disgusting that people still make that argument that we can never cut defense but we can cut education. Seems like a big waste of time to me! stylesheet.type = "text/css"; George Carlin. Conservatives say if you dont give the rich more money, they will lose their incentive to invest. All the media and the politicians ever talk about is things that separate us, things that make us different from one another. George Carlin, 69. Im not sure silencing people or forcing them to alter their speech is the best method for solving problems that go much deeper than speech. They spend billions of dollars every year lobbying, lobbying, to get what they want. We havent tried that for a while. When fascism comes to America, it will not be in brown and black shirts. We dont even know how to take care of ourselves; we havent learned how to care for one another. window.csa("Config", { " Forget the politicians. Maybe this time itll work. George Carlin, 59. Theres a humorous side to every situation. You have owners. We have the war on crime, the war on cancer, the war on drugs. Tax them. They should be more vivid. If no one knows when a person is going to die, how can we say he died prematurely? You caused the problem; you voted them in; you have no right to complain. George Carlin, 70. googletag.cmd = googletag.cmd || []; Thats the problem. throw new Error("could not load device-specific stylesheet : " + err.message); We think in language. Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups. What do you get at the end of it? Everything He ever makesdies.George Carlin, Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?George Carlin, Thats why they call it the American Dream because you have to be asleep to believe it.George Carlin, May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.George Carlin, Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.George Carlin, There are nights when the wolves are silent and only the moon howls. var ue_mid = "A1PQBFHBHS6YH1"; Im not sure thats the way to fight discrimination. Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist. I started this website because I wanted to help people like you to maximize their potential and achieve their dreams. } I really tried to believe that, but I gotta tell you, the longer you live, the more you look around, the more you realize, something is fucked up.George Carlin, When youre born into this world, youre given a ticket to the freak show. Theres a humorous side to every situation. Some people dream of things that never were and ask, Why not? Its so fuckin heroic. George Carlin, 18. Keep in mind, the news media are not independent; they are a sort of bulletin board and public relations firm for the ruling class-the people who run things. George Carlin quotes government sayings, in particular, are thought-provoking. They'll get it all from you sooner or later 'cause they own this f**kin' place. The owners of this country know the truth: Its called the American dream because you have to be asleep to believe it. George Carlin, 83.Theres a reason education sucks, and its the same reason it will never ever ever be fixed. Dont just teach your children to read Teach them to question what they read. Political correctness is Americas newest form of intolerance, and it is especially pernicious because it comes disguised as tolerance. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid. Sooner or later the people in this country are going to realize: the government does not give a f**k about them. Theres no present. Life gets really simple once you cut out all the bull shit they teach you in school. George Carlin. Nothing is mentioned, though, about cursing a lack of candles.George Carlin, When someone asks you, A penny for your thoughts, and you put your two cents in, what happens to the other penny?George Carlin, The only good thing ever to come out of religion was the music.George Carlin, Life gets really simple once you cut out all the bull shit they teach you in school.George Carlin, I have as much authority as the Pope. The real reason that we cant have the Ten Commandments in a courthouse: You cannot post Thou shalt not steal, Thou shalt not commit adultery, and Thou shalt not lie in a building full of lawyers, judges, and politicians. Im talking about the real owners now the real owners. He was the second onComedy Centrals list of top 10 American comedians in 2004, posthumously awarded theMark Twain Prize for American Humor in 2008, and ranked second in number on the list of the 50 best stand-up comedians of all time by Rolling Stonemagazine in 2017. George Carlin, Dont just teach your children to readTeach them to question what they read.Teach them to question everything.George Carlin, How can He be perfect? The late great comedian George Carlin has many great quotes about life and society, here are some of them. } Every now and then you find yourself in a different place. 'Cause pretty soon they have little hats. gads.async = true; A = p.createElement(s); the important thing is to, first of all, question everything you read or hear or see or are told. Some people see things that are, and ask, why? Its important in life if you dont give a shit. There is a mistake in the text of this quote. People forget there is such a thing as memory, and that when a wound heals it leaves a permanent scar that never goes away, but merely fades a little. The big wealthy business interests that control things and make all the important decisions. Some people have no idea what theyre doing, and a lot of them are really good at it. George Carlin, 42. It creates a hostile work environment. George Carlin, 65. //]]> Just cause you got the monkey off your back doesnt mean the circus has left town. George Carlin, 23. Manage Settings googletag.pubads().enableAsyncRendering(); This is the best we can do folks. It presents itself as fairness, yet attempts to restrict and control peoples language with strict codes and rigid rules. We would love to hear your thoughts, so dont be shy and comment below! In fact, George Carlin had some pretty interesting things to say about government. A comedian can say things that you may not want to hear but need to. } A Death! It takes up a lot of your time. I have certain rules I live by. Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist. There is only a short pause before the next horrifying event. - George Carlin profile quotes. Whether you agree with him or not, George Carlins views on government are definitely worth considering. Theres only the immediate future and the recent past. George Carlin, 22. We made 'em up. Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear themusic. That's the problem." "Bipartisan usually means that a larger-than-usual deception is being carried out." " Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity ." Its interested in its own power. If its true that our species is alone in the universe, then Id have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little. g.parentNode.insertBefore(A, g) But there is an I in independence, individuality, and integrity. George Carlin, 14. Aw, hes a comedian. I love individuals. They own, and control the corporations. Interview with Todd Leopold, edition.cnn.com. After all, he was one of the most successful comedians of all time! Ever. })(); The upper class keeps all of the money, pays none of the taxes. Well, we know what they want. Dont just teach your children to read Teach them to question everything that they read Teach them to question everything. George Carlin, 86. Some people have no idea what they're doing, and a lot of them are really good at it. Its interested in its own power. googletag.pubads().setTargeting("signedin", "false"); Well, if crime fighters fight crime and firefighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight? To me, authority is something that a freer spirit, a more independent mind, and a person who can handle the world, doesnt need guidance from. George Carlin, 61. You and I are not in the big club. An example of data being processed may be a unique identifier stored in a cookie. //]]> I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, Wheres the self-help section? She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose. George Carlin, 43. Weve learned how to make a living but not a life. He was an American standup comedian. Period. BAM! Government is an important institution. Enjoy! [CDATA[ You work forty years until youre young enough to enjoy your retirement. I hate groups of people. 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" If churches want to play the game of politics, let them pay admission like everyone else. The first one is: 'Never believe ANYthing the government says.' George Carlin Believe, Government, Rules To Live By 48 Copy quote Tell people an invisible man in the sky created all things, they believe you. Source; . I think people should be allowed to do what they want. //]]> function q(c, r) { var googletag = googletag || {}; Don't forget: YOU have the power to make ANYTHING happen. I look at war a little. 383 talking about this. Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. Boy, these conservatives are really something, arent they? Its so fuckin heroic.George Carlin, The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.George Carlin, If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?George Carlin, I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? My motto: Fuck Hope! George Carlin,Brain Droppings, Im happy to tell you there is very little in this world that I believe in. George Carlin,Brain Droppings, If everyone in the world sat quietly at the same time, closed their eyes and concentrated as hard as they could on peace and goodwill, all the killing and cruelty in the world would continue. After all, he was one of the most successful comedians of all time! When Thomas Edison worked late into the night on the electric light, he had to do it by gas lamp or candle. url = "https://s.gr-assets.com/assets/mobile/phone_hd_images-2b89833762f600506d44865a33582d11.css"; Topics. Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough not to quit. George Carlin, 21. You don't. You have no choice. When you die, it all stays here. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things. Carlin is well-known for pivoting from a strait-laced, suit-and-tie approach to standup in the late 1960s and early . setDisplayBids: function() {}, They own everything. If you have selfish, ignorant citizens, youre going to have selfish, ignorant leaders. George Carlin, 73. Thank you! Its so fuckin heroic. George Carlin, Most people work just hard enough not to get firedand get paid just enough not to quit. George Carlin, Bipartisan usually means that a larger-than-usual deception is being carried out. George Carlin, If you have selfish, ignorant citizens, youre going to have selfish, ignorant leaders. George Carlin, Theres no present. Death is caused by swallowing small amounts of saliva over a long period of time. Quotes by George Carlin One of the most iconic comedians of all time. I love individuals. Press Enter / Return to begin your search. Each one of them has an entire hologram of the universe somewhere within them. George Carlin, 34. You have no choice. All day long beating you over the head with their media telling you what to believe, what to think and what to buy. The table is tilted, folks. Your dog thinks you're a god. George Carlin quotes on the American government In America, anyone can become president. document.getElementsByTagName("head")[0].appendChild(stylesheet); George Carlin. Thats the problem. George Carlin, When fascism comes to America, it will not be in brown and black shirts. Showing 1-30 of 421 "The reason I talk to myself is because I'm the only one whose answers I accept." George Carlin tags: humor , insanity , lies , lying , self-indulgence , truth 19588 likes Like "The planet is fine. He was born May 12, 1937, in New York City into an Irish Catholic family, but he rejected the faith. init: function() { window.Mobvious = {}; American var ue_sn = "www.goodreads.com"; The Grammy-Award-winning star of 14 stand-up comedy specials on HBO, George Carlin was widely considered one of Americans most influential comedians. session: { id: "334-5362882-2183381" }, I think the warning labels on alcoholic beverages are too bland. Improve yourself, find your inspiration, share with friends, George Carlin (2002). Dont sweat the petty things and dont pet the sweaty things. We have multiplied our possessions but reduced our values. George Carlin died on June 22, 2008, from cardiac failure at the age of 71. They will only bring you down to their level and beat you with experience. George Carlin, I like it when a flower or a little tuft of grass grows through a crack in the concrete. "Forget the politicians. He loves you. I've set my own rules to live by. Its never just a game when youre winning.George Carlin, If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrheadoes that mean that 1 enjoys it?George Carlin, Isnt it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do practice?George Carlin, Religion is like a pair of shoes..Find one that fits for you, but dont make me wear your shoes.George Carlin, Religion is just mind control. When you are born in America, you get a front row seat. Its a great feeling. Because you have the illusion of choice! George Carlin, 76. 4. If your kid needs a role model and you aint it, youre both fucked. George Carlin, 32. Whats that, a bonus? (?) "Government want to tell you things you can't say because they're against the law, or you can't say this because it's against a regulation, or here's something you can't say because its a.secret; "You can't tell him that because he's not cleared to know that." Government wants to control information and control . Life is not measured by the number of breath we take, but by the moments that take our breath away. George Carlin If churches want to play the game of politics, let them pay admission like everyone else. 4. The Grammy-Award-winning star of 14stand-up comedy specials on HBO taught us the power of words and how a person can use humor as a weapon. George Carlin > Quotes (?) Get future posts byemail,oryou can follow us onInstagram,Pinterest,andFacebook. try { var cookie = cookies[i]; Its never going to get any better. //= 2; // retina display In this article, we present to you some of the famous George Carlin Quotes on Government, Marriage, Love, Life, Religion, Death, Voting, Freedom, Politics and More with their meaning. And the invisible man has a list of ten specific things he doesn't want you to do. } Planet, species, race, nation, state, religion, party, union, club, association, neighborhood improvement committee; I have no interest in any of it. They own everything. Laugh until you gasp for breath. George Carlin, 3. Some people dream of things that never were, and ask, why not? I just dont have as many people who believe it.George Carlin, How come when its us, its an abortion, and when its a chicken, its an omelet?George Carlin.

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